She's the Man Trailer (Dramione Style)
by FlyingMouse
Summary: At Hogwarts, everyone has a secret…Draco wants Astoria, who wants Harry, who is really Hermione, whose brother is dating Ginny, so she hates Astoria, who's dating Draco to make Harry jealous. Who is really Hermione getting jealous, because she wants Draco. Who thinks she's a guy.


_**IMPORTANT : While this can be enjoyed without remembering much about the official She's the Man trailer, you would have the best reading experience if you watch "She's the Man Trailer" on Youtube (it's only 2-3 mins), just to refresh your memory on how the trailer goes :) I DO NOT OWN THE TRAILER NOR THE HP CHARACTERS**_

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 **McGonagall** : Ladies, today we're going to go over the guidelines for a graceful, ladylike entrée into society.

 _(Hermione stumbles into the room with her hair a mess and her hands full of books, some of which drop to the ground)_

 **Ginny** : Make sure she's in the back of the group photo.

 _ **Narrator**_ : Hermione was facing a fate worth than death.

 **Jean Granger (pulls out a dress)** : Ta-da!

 **Hermione** : Sorry mom, I have a strict no-ruffles policy.

 _ **Narrator**_ : …until her twin brother, Harry, showed her a way out.

 **Hermione** : Where are you going?

 **Harry** : London, for a couple of weeks!

 **Hermione** : What are you gonna do about school? We're required to repeat our 7th year at Hogwarts!

 **Harry** : I was kinda hoping you could help me with that! …Could you like, pretend to be me?

 _(shift to scene at the wizard clothes shop Twilfitt and Tattings, where Hermione is talking to the shopkeeper)_

 **Man at shop (laughing)** : You want me to…turn you into your brother? Without the use of Polyjuice Potion?

 **Hermione** : Nobody has seen Harry that often ever since he left during the Wizarding War. They wouldn't notice the difference if I just disguise myself without the use of magic!

 _ **Narrator**_ : Now, she's headed back to repeat her 7th year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry…

 **Dumbledore** : Let's go! Kick, kill!

 _ **Narrator**_ : …where the wizards have game…

 _(shows a scene of Gryffindors an Slytherins playing Quidditich)_

 _ **Narrator**_ : …and the witches have attitude.

 **Blaise** : Hey there, pretty lady!

 **Ginny** : Ew! Gryffindor girls with butts like mine do not talk to Slytherin boys with faces like yours!

 _(Draco, who's next to Blaise, snickers)_

 **Blaise** : Uh…

 _(shifts to Hermione, who is now disguised as Harry without the use of any magic)_

 **Hermione-disguised-as-Harry** : _(shows up to the Slytherin common room and forces herself to speak in her best Harry Potter voice)_ Whaddup?

 _(shifts to another scene where she's in the boys' locker room for Quidditch)_

 **Hermione-disguised-as-Harry** : _(speaks in her best Harry Potter voice)_ We're gonna be tight, bro!

 **Blaise** : Seriously, how old are you?

 **Hermione-disguised-as-Harry** : _(in her best Harry Potter voice)_ I skipped a couple grades, ehehe….

 **Theo (whispers to Blaise)** : There is something odd about that new boy.

 **Hermione-disguised-as-Harry** : _(nods to a random guy giving her a weird look)_ Suuuup.

 _(shifts to scene where Hermione is in the bathroom standing in front of Theo)_

 **Theo** : You are SO busted!

 _(Draco walks by Theo and whacks the back of his head with a towel)_

 _ **Narrator**_ : But at this school, everyone's got a secret. Draco wants Astoria…

 **Draco (speaking to Astoria)** : Do you like…cheese?

 ** _Narrator_** : …who wants Harry…

 **Astoria (staring at Hermione in her Harry disguise)** : Isn't he cute?

 **Hermione-disguised-as-Harry** : _(hugging Ginny and speaking in her best Harry voice)_ How you doin' babe? _(spanks Ginny's butt)_ Woo!

 _ **Narrator**_ : …who is really Hermione, whose brother is dating Ginny, so she hates Astoria, who's dating Draco, to make Harry jealous.

 **Hermione-disguised-as-Harry** : What does your heart tell you?

 **Draco (frowns at her)** : Huh?

 **Hermione-disguised-as-Harry** : I mean…which one would you rather see NAKED?!

 ** _Narrator_** : Who is really Hermione getting jealous, because she wants Draco. Who thinks she's a guy.

 **Draco** : _(looking uncomfortable while Hermione-disguised-as-Harry is hugging him)_ Okay. Okay! _(awkwardly struggles out of her grip)_ Uh-uhm…!

 ** _Narrator_** : And this is where it gets really complicated.

 **Ron (comes up to Draco, looking angry)** : 'Scuse me, doofus! _(punches Draco's jaw)_

 _(Draco punches Ron's eye)_

 _(shifts to a scene where Ginny punches Astoria)_

 _(Astoria kicks Ginny between the legs)_

 **Dumbledore** : Sexual tension…

 _(shifts to scene where Hermione-disguised-as-Harry spanks Ginny)_

 **Dumbledore** : …male-female dynamics…

 _(shifts to a scene where Draco and Astoria are making out)_

 **Dumbledore** : …it's all part of the Wizarding School experience.

 _(shifts to a scene where Draco and Hermione-disguised-as-Harry scream at the sight of a spider, jump on a stool and hug each other, look at each other, and then scream as they immediately release each other)_

 **Blaise (at the dining hall)** : I hate Wizarding School!

 _(shifts to scene where the real Harry is on the Quidditch field and pulls down his pants and underwear)_

 **Snape** : _(winces at the sight and mutters to McGonagall)_ Is it just me, or does this Quidditch game have more nudity than most?

 _(shifts to scene where Draco and Hermione-disguised-as-Harry are talking together in their dorm room)_

 **Draco** : I'm not really good at talking to girls.

 **Hermione-disguised-as-Harry** : Why? You're hot!

 **Draco (winces)** : What…?!

 **Hermione-disguised-as-Harry** : Ahem, well, I- you're an appealing man. Guy. Man. G-guy-man.

 ** _Narrator_** : The secret is out! _(a brief scene of each HP character is shown as the cast is announced)_ Emma Watson, Bonnie Wright, Tom Felton, Rupert Grint, Michael Gambon, Jade Gordon, and Alan Rickman.

 **Blaise** : I got lady-troubles.

 **Hermione-disguised-as-Harry** : I got lotta common knowledge.

 ** _Narrator (as the movie title comes up)_** : She's the Man!

 _(On the Quidditch field, a Bludger hits Hermione-disguised-as-Harry between the legs)_

 **Hermione-disguised-as-Harry** : _(looks around and notices everyone on the Quidditch field is cringing at her)_ Oh, right. _(places her hands between her legs)_ OWWWWW! OHHH, FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN!

 _(end trailer)_


End file.
